Graduate of BS Biology, Ateneo De Manila University
That’s how I see myself in the future when I was a senior in high school dreaming to enter one of the most prestigious and well known schools in our country(Okay, now I’m writing the school’s name unlike before, I decided to go with honesty from now on). I’ll be telling my story when God definitely said “no” to me. I was doubtful of Him at first but it turned out well in the end. Scroll down for the rest of the story.
If you ask me know, I’m a proud Psychology major. I’m still studying a pre-med course but I can say that I love Psychology now more than Biology.
I believe I’m fit for such a big name because I think I’m qualified enough for this grand university.
January 14, 2012. The most heartbreaking news reached me.
My name is not on the list of qualified applicants nor in the waitlisted people.
What will be my reaction?
Of course I cried. I considered myself stupid, dumb and insufficient. So so so insufficient. How come a consistent honour student can’t even pass Ateneo? I always asked myself that question.
It hurts me to see friends who qualified talk about Ateneo. It hurts me to hear people talk about big universities because I purposely didn’t take their exams seriously. In Filipino, “Pinaglaruan ko lang ang exam nila.”
Heartbroken and almost loosing self-confidence, I struggled to maintain my normal student life. I act as if the news of failing the ACET is no big deal (before it was). This is one of the biggest “NOs!” God gave to me.
One day, a call came. It’s from a College well known in Nursing. From that call, I got God’s good message. It’s about a visiting program of the school where we will be having the chance to experience our “first day in college”. Without hesitation, I set up the date and I will sure be going.
I’m too naive to take God’s message until I realized that He wants me to be in that school, not anywhere else.
I tried to refuse that call. Let me tell you the story. When I got the letter from UP (the one with your scores which I can say is a scary letter), I got a surprising 2.5 UPG (General Average). I didn’t pass any UP Campus that I applied for but a lot people encouraged me to try the process of Reconsideration. One of my doctors encouraged me too. I thought God was saying to me that “You still have the chance girl!”
With all my hopes recharged and optimism gauge turned full, I took the chance and waited until May 2012(the time where everyone else is enrolled and I am still undecided of my school). I passed both courses that I applied for reconsideration in UPLB. The Chemical Engineering course needs interview. It’s easy to answer and show them all my confidence. What’s not easy is to fake my enthusiasm for the course. I can choose to fake everything that I say but I didn’t. I’m not just good in lying so it showed out that I obviously don’t like engineering and I’m only making it as a gate pass to UPLB. I know from that moment while I am sitting in front of the panel interviewing me, I’m busted.
One professor told me too that once I entered their engineering, there’s no turning back. Shifting courses is not allowed.
My parents and I concluded that UPLB doesn’t want me and choosing to stay there keeps my doctor dream far away. So I kept telling myself that “To all the universities who didn’t accept me, Haha! It’s your loss!”
I didn’t feel depressed or sad that night. That’s weird. Instead, I just feel light hearted like a big thorn was out from my wind pipe. I enjoyed the rest of the day with my cousins and a delicious dinner with my family in a restaurant.
It took me sometime to realize that God wants me to stay on a school that’s constantly blooming and had potentials of being something much known someday.
He wants me to experience how to be a student of a simple school with big dreams and hope for its students.
He wants me to belong in a place where people will love me because I am me. He wants me to belong to a place where my intellect and talents are to be nurtured. He wants me to study Psychology and make the most of it that’s why I am where I am.
Of all the things God wants for me, I think this is the climax: He wants me to experience how to be discriminated because of my school’s name.
Yes, my school’s name. Believe it or not, people will constantly judge you because of the institution where you belong. That’s the harsh reality; people have very high expectations of you when you present high performance. Maybe if you know me well, you will be one of the people who will ask “Bakit ka nandiyan?”
“Bakit ako nandito?” It is because God wants me here. I’ve met a lot good people in my school. They are so friendly and most of them brought me closer to God. I know the place where I belong is pushing me through my limits and I’m truly being tested. Studying Psychology is difficult but if you love it, you can get through it! A series of negative events happened and if I’m in Ateneo, maybe I’ll be totally broke. Staying in Ateneo is a doorway to a further heart break, God knew it that’s why He said “NO!” when I asked Him to bring me to that school.
A lot of positive things are constantly happening to me now, and I know these things are all according to God’s plan. It took me sometime to appreciate the value of God saying “NO!”
When God says NO, don’t worry my friend. Something good or even greater is waiting for you. God has planned your life perfectly. Don’t be afraid to follow His lead and know that things can get better. I already wrote a lot of articles retelling almost the same story and I wish this one can inspire you too.
If God says no, then just patiently wait. Do you know what’s great about our Daddy God? You can even ask Him for patience. Just wait for His answers and they will all come in the most perfect time. I believe in all of that because in my seventeen years of existence, I have proved a lot about Daddy God. I might tell those stories to you soon. Have a good day and God bless!
Note: Road Trip, Back on Track and Refuel by Ru Dela Torre inspired me to write this.
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