On writing and living.

Touchdown Cebu (three years ago)

My dad always wanted to travel. He always had plans and slowly, all of his travel plans are turning into reality. As a family, we always went out and we usually travel by car but back in 2012, before I entered College, Dad promised us that he will bring us to Cebu and we will ride the plane, and he did.

Warning: This trip has so many good memories and it and I always try relive it in my head. I think this is worth a blog post even though the trip happened three years ago. This was also the time when our beloved Sony Exmor camera still worked perfectly. I am also not a pro travel-blogger. I will not give detailed hotel reviews and the like but this can give you the idea of what to expect. :D

I will not deny this but this is my first time aboard a plane. I was so excited. Here’s a breath taking view of le clouds.

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I am so conscious of myself because duh, you don’t want to look like a noob inside the plane. Here’s a cutie picture of my brothers. Looks like they’re used to it, ayt?

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Do you know how powerful the short named city is? Aside from being the bastion of history, Cebu offered us the gift of places to visit and enjoy. Since this trip I happened three years ago, what you might see in this blog post may be different in the present time.

Sit back and enjoy, here we go! 

Our first stop for lunch is Sutukil (YAAY, SEAFOODS!)

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I don’t remember the name of the fishes we ate, I don’t even have a picture because taking food pics wasn’t the trend that time (I guess or maybe, on my part). But their calamares is heaven. Note: Streetfood, restaurant or any eatery calamares is my favorite.

For a day, we were able to visit places… a lot of places.

After satisfying our bellies with the iron filled lunch, we went to Lapu-Lapu Shrine. The same spot where Lapu-Lapu and his troops killed Magellan.

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There’s a macho on my back. XD

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Alegre Guitars

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Smileeey

DSC07735The souvenir shop

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What’s inside?

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Pictures of celebs and famous personalities who visited Alegre guitars

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The Cello tho XD

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Le brother’s head

The Taoist Temple

DSC07766The Entrance of the Taoist Temple, si kuya photobomber XD

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Fort San Pedro

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Hahaha :)

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The Famous Magellan’s CrossDSC07816

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Sto. Niño Church

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Cebu Heritage Monument

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DAD XD

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 I’m taking a good look at it.

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Here’s the other side

Plantation Bay

We visited Plantation Bay with the whole gang/family during our last day in Cebu.

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 Chillax

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Photo bomber XD

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 I was like, “Bye Cebu, I will surely miss you.”

We went home soooo tired but the entire trip was worth it. What I noticed in Cebu is that it is now highly industrialized. It is the complete opposite of Bohol which you will see on my next blog post.

Have a good day and God bless! :* – M.

3/31/15

Emotional Breakdown

Last year, the news of Nanay’s stage 4 breast cancer felt like a bomb to our whole family. In a snap of a finger, everything changed. Our day to day routines changed, finances were redirected and emotions escalated. It is so damn difficult to see someone you love fight and battle cancer. It is harder when you know that even from the start, cancer will win or cancer already won.

By second week of February this year, it was the time that Nanay’s body “collapsed” (I can’t think of any other term). She became bedridden, she stopped eating and it was a struggle for her to talk. It was also the time that the doctor gave us the warning, “Malapit na.”

Every night, after my 7 am – 7 pm class, I go home directly to the other house, my grandma’s home in Imus. It was my new routine since February. Whenever I am there, I can’t concentrate on studying my lessons or doing my assignments. My mom and I will go back home in Bacoor, 10 pm being the earliest. In my room, fatigue would strike me hard so I usually go straight to my bed. There were times when I wake up that I am still wearing my school uniform. If I can, I get up as early as 3 am to start the school works. If not, I wake up with my roaring phone shouting  “5:30 AM”. If that happens, I literally fly to the bathroom, take a quick shower, take some bites of breakfast and try not to be late with my 7 am class. During those times, ridiculous as it may sound, I started asking God, “God, pahingi ng date para makapag-prepare ako.” I even tell Him to “God naman, bakit sabay-sabay? Hindi ko na kaya. Pahingi ng lakas.”

I admit that junior year is the most challenging for me. I was bombarded with the job as the EIC, I am the thesis group leader, I got the 7 am -7 pm class, we have a lot of school works. Keeping the balance as the daughter and granddaughter and trying to maintain a normal student state at school is a very big burden to me. I came to a point that I just don’t know what to feel and I just don’t know what to do. I came to a point that I just to do nothing and feel nothing. I want to cry all the emotional baggage out but with my very busy schedule, I can’t find the right and proper time to cry. The responsibilities are overwhelming given the fact that things that happen in some parts of my “jobs and responsibilities” don’t always work out well. It’s just yesterday I realized that I was already using persona that wasn’t mine. I started to stop claiming responsibilities, I started to be insensitive, I started to become detached to the real me. I was trying so hard to be strong when in fact, inside I am slowly breaking down. I did not even notice that I was so broken that pieces of me was scattered everywhere . I can’t pull myself all together right now. I can’t because I know I already reached my limit.

I don’t want anyone to dictate me what to do. All I need is the understanding that I am not just the granddaughter who lost her Nanay, I am also the daughter who gets affected by everything that my family is going through, and what we are going through is not a simple thing. I am also the student that’s trying hard to grasp her responsibilities and regrets now that I acted weird for the past weeks. I am also Meme that became confused of what to do or feel. I am just the Meme that just broke down.

It will take time for me to be back as a whole. I know.  But I will keep asking God for strength as the world will not stop turning even though I am still on an emotional rollercoaster.  I want to thank everyone who gave me cups of comfort and support. I want to thank God for continuously providing me strength. I keep telling myself that if I get out of all these things alive, I know I will be one of the strongest persons in the world, even though I am physically and emotionally weak. It is in this difficult time that I know I have to hold on, keep my faith to God and to myself as well.

Whenever you see me, offer me some hug please? Thank you. And sorry if this post is too dramatic, you writing is one of the biggest things that comfort me.

“Once the publication is established, its editorial board shall freely determine its editorial policies and manage the publication’s funds.” – Section 4, R.A. 7079 aka Campus Journalism Act of 1991

Rejected.

Ang story na gusto ko ang pagkakasulat, na gusto ko ang tema ang kauna-unahang na-reject sa mga gawa ko.

For return, no reply, R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D. Apat na publisher din iyon.

Tinanong ko ang isang kaibigan, binasa niya ng buo iyong akda. May kaibigan siyang nasa publishing industry. Malamang daw, ang dahilan ng pagka-reject ay may dalawang genre ito. Hindi lang siya romance, nahaluan ng school issue.

Ang sakit sa puso marinig iyon. Paano iyon, ganoon nga ang mga linya ng nobelang gusto ko pang gawin sa hinaharap. Ayaw ko ng kilig lang, gusto ko may mga pinaglalaban iyong characters. Gusto ko na may kaunting self-discovery ang story. Gusto ko iba, kaso sa pagiging iba nito, umaabot sa puntong wala akong publisher na papasahan. Siguro, ang pagka-weirdo ko na rin ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako nakakakuha ng napakadaming reads. Paano na ako? Self-publishing nalang forevs?

Gumagawa ako ng mga akdang talagang aayawan ng publisher. Pasaway ako. I do it on my own way. Pero ewan, ayaw kong isakripisyo ang mga gusto kong mangyari para lang pumasa sa standards nila. Siguro pangit nga, siguro ‘di kagandahan pero hindi naman siguro patapon ang mga gawa ko. Naiinggit ako sa mga may libro na na 15 years old palang. Naiinggit ako sobra. Pero katulad nga ng mga sinasabi ng mga ate at kuya ko, bata pa ako. Malayo pa ang mararating ko, gagaling pa ako.

Kapag ako pumasa sa isang publisher, iyon siguro ang magiging pinakamasayang araw ng buhay ko.

Sa ngayon, tatandaan ko ang tinuro ni Ms. Bebang Siy, magtiwala sa alindog ng aking mga character. :)

Ito iyong unedited version ng story na lakas loob kong pinasa: http://www.wattpad.com/21200385-perfectly-imperfect-1

12:06 AM, 1/8/15

Hi and Goodbye (A New Year Special Post)

Photo Credit: http://www.etcpb.com/

Photo Credit: http://www.etcpb.com/

2014 is a mix of good and not so good things for me. This year did not fail to teach lessons and I am glad this year will end with a brand new and more mature “Em-em/Me-me”.

Instead of posting my year in a nutshell, I decided to list the most important things I learned from circumstances. Here’s the list:

  1. When God entrusts you a big stuff, no matter how unconfident you are, you have to accept it.

Promotions happen to our lives. Promotion means a greater responsibility parallel to greater glory. It is not always easy as it seems. You may see yourself as the weakling to handle such stuff but when God wants you to do it, you have to do it. You will find out that He will strengthen you as you go along the way.

When He’s giving you a promotion, a big big responsibility that you think you can’t handle, you have to trust Him and yourself. That is simple as that and it worked for me.

  1. You can’t escape God’s plan for you.

It is not my plan to join the campus publication for this year. I really don’t. I was planning to focus on my fiction writing career, try to produce something that is publisher worthy but the plan was “shooed” by the Editor-in-Chief thing. Sometime August, I became the school publication’s Editor-in-Chief and I just feel like, “Why me? Oh why me?”

In my mind, I know God is whispering. “Yes, it’s you. It is for you.”

  1. Reality may shake you but writing is always on your back.

There’s one family issue that really, really bothered me. I was desperate for escape so I dedicated my time writing something. I wrote my first English Novella that is set in Luna East Arts Academy in May and ended it the same month. Yes, I did it in a month (surprisingly). The experience became a therapeutic one, for the mean time I forgot I was sad and scared. It is through the experience I discovered that writing can serve a dual purpose – to entertain the readers and heal the writer.

  1. Nowhere to go but up!

When God starts to lift you up, you will be surprised of the height. Daddy God lifted me to be a self-published author and He keeps on surprising me. You just have to do your best because really, God will take care of the rest. But you have to remember, no matter how high you are lifted you have to;

  1. Keep your feet on the ground.

It is easy to be proud of ourselves and feel superior to everyone but being boastful of our achievements is a no-no. There’s a thin line between being proud and humble. I learned that I can always be proud of myself but I should always be humble as well. Humility pleases Daddy God and I am always honoured to please Him.

  1. Leadership can be developed and nurtured.

There’s always a leader in us. If God calls for that leader out, let it out. I know for sure that my leadership is flawed but there are endless opportunities for learning. I found out that being in charge of someone else is fun, and at the same time it is challenging. Whenever I am being overwhelmed by the position, I think of my God-given talents and abilities. I have to trust myself because I was made for a certain purpose and one of such purpose is the leadership I am practicing right now.

  1. The harder things are, the closer you become with God.

Isn’t it obvious? I’ve been talking about God all throughout the article. It is because this year, He taught me to trust Him more and to have faith. Most of us blame Him for difficult stuff but I figured out, after the “test”, He shows up again with a lot of gifts that becomes “pambawi” for the suffering.

I am and eternally thankful to Him for letting me have and acquire these:

  • A self-published book (My Firsts With Him)
  • Finishing Endless Second Chances (Book 2 of My Firsts With Him)
  • Three semesters in Honor’s List
  • The gift of campus journalism
  • A harmonious thesis group
  • Supportive mentors all around me
  • A loving and caring family
  • Silly friends who are supportive as well
  • A chance to be featured on a magazine (Soon!)

And so many others that if I list it, it will take us another year. Hehe.

 

It’s been a wonderful year and I know, 2015 is going to be wonderful as well. Goodbye, 2014 and Hi 2015. I know 2015 is going to be difficult but I am excited for the greater things to come in my life. J

Happy New Year! May God bless you always.

Thank you for dropping by. :D


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